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Weddings have a tendency to make me question friendships. It's just one of those times I start to think about my life and the choices I've made and if I really know this person well enough to have to rent a tuxedo and buy a gift? Yeah, sure we've been best friends for 15 years but I didn't know your favorite song was "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred and that peach tree was your favorite color. I didn't even know there was a color peach tree! You'd think a best man should know that!
See, this is why guys never want their friends to get married. It's not that we think you can do better. We know you can't. We really don't know how you did this good in the first place. It's just we don't want to go through all the wedding hullabaloo!
And now I'm supposed to be the best man! I've never considered myself best man. Not unless I had two mediocre men around me. I feel like I could be the slightly above average man, the pretty good man but BEST MAN? Really?
I have to make a toast. Before I became best man, the only thing I knew about toast was I butter it every morning. I got to throw a bachelor party. It's ridiculous! My friend is a cop and all of his friends are cops. I think they should set it up! They already have the best drugs and know all the hookers by first name. And they can top off the night by giving themselves breathalyzer tests on the way out!
I do like that label, though. Best Man. Because whatever I do - even if I take a dump in my pants and make out with the bride's mom - I'm still the Best Man. Might be the worst man tomorrow but at that wedding - Best Man!
Written by guest blogger: Jeff Lutz
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